about...a loved one

I’ve spoken a lot about the people around me, those that I love, especially my parents & grandparents. When I look back on my life and at who has had a constant presence in my life, who I don’t even need to think twice about the love they have for me, or I them, my auntie takes the biggest step forward. When I think of the memories I have with my mum’s sister, let’s call her Lenny to make it easier, I don’t think I’ve truly had a childhood, or upbringing, without her.

She’s been there from day one, as have her children, my two cousins, and as a whole I’ve never known life without them. From the very beginning she’s looked after me as her own. I was lucky enough to have someone record the day after I was born at the hospital and there’s a clip of Lenny cradling me, swaying me back and forth and I raised my head and just stared at her, like a kitten to their mother, and in that moment it’s clear that I felt safe. I knew I was in good hands.

Fast forward a few months to my christening and again there are more photos of me in her arms looking relaxed as ever. I don’t know how much of this is true but I believe a child truly knows who loves them & who to feel safe with. I do genuinely think kids/babies have an energy radar. When I look at/watch these photos/videos I feel like the vibe is no different to me being held by my mother. Lenny clearly was to become one of the main women in my life.

"Our relationship has evolved and whether it’s for advice, a laugh, support or to hang out, I know I’ll always have a best friend"

Memories with Lenny and my cousins are a core part of my childhood. Being a teacher she was usually home during the holiday periods which meant if my parents couldn’t get the time off work I’d stay at Lenny’s for a week (I used to beg for two weeks sometimes.) Lenny has always been an adventurer so even the most simplest of tasks had an element of fun to them. It wouldn’t simply be a trip to the supermarket, but there’d always be those rides for us to play on, or a trip to the park where we could run free, or a side quest to an arcade in a shopping centre. At the end of the day she was a teacher, even to date she knows how to keep children occupied. We also had our fair share of discipline, mainly my cousin getting in trouble because I’d snitch on him, but that didn’t mean I’d sometimes get scolded too. Her house, her rules, I’d never argue with it.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to really appreciate all of these memories. The truth is she didn’t have to do that, those are also her finances, her time with her own children and her space that I’m taking up but I’ve never EVER been made to feel that I’m impeding in any way. It just felt like the norm. I never felt out of place, it felt right and that is truly what makes a home. Whether a person is blood related or not, these are the kind of relationships that truly make them family and people you can trust.

Now that I’m in my thirties, have my own responsibilities and have matured, so has our relationship. Days out with Lenny are like days out with my mum. Being an only child I’m used to days out with just me and my mum and whilst my mum is away Lenny has stepped into the role of mum - whether she realises it or not! But I appreciate and value my time with her just as I do my own mum. We talk as auntie and niece, mum and daughter, sisters and friends. Our relationship has evolved and whether it’s for advice, a laugh, support or to hang out, I know I’ll always have a best friend in my Auntie Lenny.

Rhéa x