about...dreams

In this series I’ll be discussing random topics that make me, and possibly yourself, take a step back and reflect on life. Chapter 1 is About…Dreams💤

Lucid Dreaming: “Lucid dreams are dreams in which the dreamer is aware that she is having a dream. Lucidity, or awareness that one is dreaming, is somewhat unstable and easily lost…”

(The Oxford Companion to Consciousness)

"I suddenly woke up in a cold sweat and my heart was pounding!"

I used to have a recurring pattern in my dreams that would freak me out but always left me curious to jump right back in once I awoke to continue the dream. Every time I’d enter a door in the dream it would become a whole new scene and that cycle would repeat itself; another door, another dream. It happened so often that I reached a point where I knew I was dreaming and I would think to myself in the dream “here we go again.”

However, the cycle became vicious sometimes, especially if it was a nightmare. I once dreamt I was being chased down a road by a man and I entered a shop to hide from him but when I exited the shop I ended up at a train station platform. I remember thinking I’d lost him but I saw him come through the station barriers, so I got on the train. Instead of being in the train carriage, I ended up in a public toilet hiding from him in a cubicle. I’ll never forget this dream because I could hear the man approaching my cubicle and, just as he went to open the door, I suddenly woke up in a cold sweat and my heart was pounding! 

That’s probably the last time I used lucid dreaming for my own amusement. It’s interesting how true it is that we lose our ability to lucid dream as we get older. My husband and I have discussed this and agree that it was easier when we were younger to have a sense of control over our dreams and also be aware that we are actually dreaming. They also say that the people you see in dreams are faces you’ve seen in reality and are deep within our subconscious. I don’t know what I did to that stranger chasing me in my dream but I was glad to be rid of him. 

One of lucid dreaming that I actually find amusing are noises in real time entering the dream. I once dreamt I was at a tourist shop, in what seemed to be a country like Hawaii, and whilst browsing Metallica’s I Disappear was playing on the radio. I turned around to my friend (no idea who the friend was but I knew they were my friend) and said “Oh, this is my alarm for school!” and began laughing because I thought to myself I’m on holiday, what a fool I was for thinking about school. Well, lo and behold, in my dream I suddenly froze and thought ‘Shit! School!.’ My eyes burst open to my phone’s alarm blaring I Disappear and I hated life at that moment. I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep.

"When I couldn’t get back to sleep I sure enough realised the pink walls were actually real"

Another part of dreaming that is bittersweet is seeing those who have passed away. I dreamt I was in Cyprus spending time with my grandfather, who by that point had passed. We were in the back yard, I was following him around like I always used to, and he was telling me about the different plants, how he loved the smell of jasmine, how he needed to trim the pomegranate tree, how my grandmother wanted to do a barbecue soon, telling me stories of his youth…my eyes slowly opened and I saw my pink bedroom walls back in England. I thought the pink walls were actually the dream and turned around in bed to try and get back into reality (the dream). When I couldn’t get back to sleep I sure enough realised the pink walls were actually real and I wasn’t in Cyprus with my granddad. I’m sure you can imagine the emotions…

I’d also dream of my grandmother often after she passed too. I probably had the closest connection to these specific grandparents and in my dreams they were always healthy. Both grandparents were ill before they passed - one with Alzheimer's and the other had a botched up operation that affected her for over 20 years. In one dream my granddad, who always complained of a bad back, gave me a piggy back and when I told my mother this she laughed because of how much he used to complain. She saw it as he was letting me know he was supporting me. In other dreams my grandmother was always silent but she just glowed with health and I’d be sitting next to her silently watching the world go by. Her health was what made an impression on me each time and I understood this as her telling me she’s well now. It’s dreams like these that make it easy to understand why people find it hard to stay in reality when you’re seeing people you love alive and well in your sleep…

I don’t dream often anymore but I’ve always enjoyed how they make you think and want to analyse things when you do remember them. There’s also a blurred line between the occult, religion and just pure psychological fantasy. I don’t think we’ll ever find the true answer to what dreams are and I’m fine with that to be honest, I like the intrigue.

Rhéa x