beauty & the beast
In all my years of writing, I never thought I’d discuss my arm & facial hair. However, I posted a video recently of me doing my eyebrows and removing my facial hair and in less than 24 hours it received just over 1000 views. Using the hashtag #oliveskin probably helped because anyone who is Mediterranean or middle eastern will 100% understand the ongoing battle with body hair.
Growing up I was bullied about my hair. I’d get asked if I was the beast from Beauty & the Beast, or if I was actually born a boy - this is in primary school by the way, so younger than 12 years old. I learned how to body shame myself from a young age and would always wish I was just like the English girls; pale skin, long blonde hair and hardly any body hair in sight. Even the brunette Barbie dolls had no hair! It’s only when you get older that you realise how much we are conditioned into the ideals of what beauty is from such a young age.
I remember one time, whilst in the bath, I grabbed my mum’s razor and pretty much shaved off as much as I could, even trying to catch the parts I couldn’t even see. Let’s say my mum had a shock when she was drying me and didn’t find any hair in its usual place and the bath water was looking darker than usual. Again, imagine how young I was. I was at the age where my mum still dried me and brushed my hair.
"My concern for what actually protects my skin helps me get over any embarrassment I have over my hair."
To this day, looking back, I feel sorry for that little kid but the truth is I’m still not comfortable in my own skin. I’ve come a long way but I still battle with the forest that grows on me. I’d say my biggest spout of confidence so far when it comes to my arm hair was not removing it for my wedding. I battled with the idea of doing it but the fact is that I don’t react well to the majority of hair removal methods. Waxing my arms leaves spots, as does shaving, and as much as laser is affordable now I don’t actually have the funds for it. The same goes for my face. I’ve waxed, shaved, and bleached. I can’t think of what I haven’t done to my face and each one has its own negative result. So far peach hair removers and the small hand held home laser devices seem to keep facial hair at bay but even then it’s not perfect. Don’t get me started on other parts of my body…
Either way, I’ve reached a point where I’ve accepted the arm hair. I still get comments from older women, funnily enough they’re always Cypriot women, but I actually don’t care and when it came to my wedding I thought to myself, this is me, my husband still loves me, let’s be real when we have a child one day any hairiness will more than likely be from me, so why hide the arm hair. It’s really not the end of the world…
My concern for what actually protects my skin helps me get over any embarrassment I have over my hair. The laser on my face isn’t as strong as the ones they use in clinics and I’ve yet to have any adverse reactions after 4 years of this routine. As for my arm hair, I clearly have sensitive skin and would much rather keep what God gave me than damage it. Also, if I did remove my arm hair it means I HAVE to follow it through to my knuckles and shoulders, to lower back because it would be obvious that I’ve just done my arms and not the rest of my body (yes I’ve thought this through.)
As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned to embrace my features; from wanting a nose job to loving my bumpy nose, from rushing to get no hair to just taking my time with it. I’ve learned to love what is clearly inherently part of who I am and my ethnography. As I said in my caption to my video, ‘Olive skin girlies will understand…’ and this is the one advantage to social media that I’ve learned to appreciate. I’ve come across so many others with the same issues and to be honest, I’ve discovered I’m on the lower end of the hairy spectrum. I’ve actually got it lucky and I hate saying this but it does make me feel better about myself. I have to be honest there. I just wish little me knew the journey we would have and where we currently stand with the relationship with our body. Kids can be so cruel at times and we can easily forget that they are sponges. They will only repeat what’s been soaked up from their environment. At the end of the day, they are just children, it’s how we approach things as adults that matter and mature me realises more and more not to let comments get to me.
Rhéa x
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